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Jan. 22nd, 2011

<3

(screened to Jon)

Omfg he's better than Brontë. Collapse )

TL;DR-

TERRORISTS
TIM IS A PROSTITUTE
BECKHAM'S STUPID VOICE
SURPRISE COFFEE
HAVE A NICE DAY NOW
STOP FAGGING OFF
LOVE LETTERS; HOW NOT TO WRITE
PROUD OF YOU
SHIRLEY TEMPLES
THAT THING YOU DO THAT'S A LITTLE SAUCY
STOP BEING A HERMIT
LEAVING NOW

I love you baby have good dreams and THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING YOU WILL RECEIVE TOMORROW so answer this first and gimmie a pic of your smile :-*

You are my favourite xxxxxxxxx

Jan. 17th, 2011

Huh?

BROKEN RECORD

LIKE I DON'T WANNA GO TO L.A D: D: D:

I'm in so much trouble, so so much trouble, freaking More magazine busted me at MacDonalds and maybe my agent doesn't read Chat or Hello or Heat but he defo reads More. Oh my God... Oh my God he's talking about a personal trainer- the last one he gave me actually almost gave me a breakdown. This is so unfair, it's like an infringement of my civil rights- 1984 WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE AN INSTRUCTION MANUAL.

Bla bla bla you're fat bla bla no you're not bla bla yes you are.Collapse )

Jan. 9th, 2011

<3

I love birthdays, especially other peoples.

I am actually going insane, Jon is cooking for me and it smells so good that I wanna cry. Did you know he could cook? Apparently he can't but he can do some things and omg i don't caaaaare no one has ever cooked for me like a proper meal before, like properly, not just dinner, you know, cause we do that all the time, but a special one. I'M SPECIAL, YOU GUYS XP

It's been a really good weekend. Like Jo finished work on friday and I was just like THERE like HI! ITS ME and we went to something something for dinner, Idk there was something with custard I think i wasn't really paying attention because there was GOLDFISH UNDER THE FLOOR and I wanted one but I wasn't allowed cause he hates me and THEN we had a big walk through HP home because Jay is like a walking A-Z of London and can get you from one place to another like magic and it's CONFUSING and I'll never be used to this town ever and we got changed for Sasha's gig and I got to wear my Stone's shirt with the glitter on I got from my Sisterrrrr who is a lil bit amazing and Sasha was awesome as always and WHY TEQUILA WHY and then Mr A-Z got us massively lost on the walk back and I ended up in someones garden when their outside light came on and I just stood there like a deer in headlights until I was tackled to the ground so then I didn't have a goldfish AND I was bruised.

I'd just like to say it's been like MONTHS since you said I could have goldfish, by the way, and taking me to a restaurant that has some when I don't is actually pretty mean. I wouldn't take you to some sort of... robot shop.

Then on Saturrrrday i made the birthday boy french toast with powdered sugar which apparently is not what you guys do? Savory french toast, you strange land. Anyway I made that (cause I'm good at what's bad for ya) and then he went off gallivanting with Dan and I had to go get my roots done (GLAMOROUS) and my eyebrows fixed and my nails poked at because I have a spring shoot coming up mid week (Don't WANNA) and then I thought maaaaybe i should go renew the Gym membership because tbh I have been pretty naughty lately so I did that and then I just faffed about the place and did some tidying and guitar practice (SO VERY GLAMOROUS) and then went to collect Drunky McDrunkerson ♥ ILU you are such a messy boy. And then um, yes.

The next day Jon had such a bad hangover he tried to get me to take his will, lol, but he was alright reeeaaally and we went to TLC and Ebola had made cupcakes and I was like GUYM? WHATS A GUYM? And I totally had cake for breakfast and a shake and it was aaaaawwwsome- Ebola is like a miracle with a mixing bowl. Then we wandered around town and I accidentally started a lil bit of a riot on oxford street cause these high schoolers recognized me, lol oops? It was a bit nice actually. IT'S ALL ABOUT THE CONFIDENCE.

Annnnnnnnnnnd apparently that's dinner so bye, off to overdose xxx


ETA !!!OK I JUST SAW VANILLA ICE FIGURE SKATING; BEST WEEKEND EVERRRRRR!!!

Jan. 4th, 2011

<3

(Private)

Oh... oops. Haha!

New Years Resolutions are stupid, anyway ♥

I love you I love you I love you...

Jan. 3rd, 2011

Bitter much?

(Private.)

...Collapse )

Dec. 13th, 2010

Sorry.

OH MY GOD WHAT IS MY LIFE.

I knew it was going to be bad, I knew it. IT'S REASONS LIKE THIS THAT I LOST THAT STUPID DIOR AD TO JUDE FREAKING LAW.

Here. Watch this. Be EXTREMELY BORED AND CONFUSED. Marvel at my brilliant boots (MODELS OWN) and then leave not knowing exactly what happened to the last seven minutes of your life.



p.s Kind of worth it for the AWKWARD™ dancing at 4.30 and then in the 'Closing down' part I get lots of lingering camera looks (and, like, the one time I was looking at the other guy you dicks.) and Idek I guess all the shots of the city don't look so bad but UGH.

I QUIT. Seriously. Well, not seriously but STOP MAKING ME DO THESE THINGS.

ugh. UGH. Stupid bad week you were supposed to end yesterday.

Nov. 28th, 2010

Sisters are dicks

Winter collection etc

F, f, f, fashion. Collapse )

So! My weekend involved babies! Well, a baby. It was okay actually, I always get scared I'll drop babies or something and lets face it, it's a long way to fall, but I wasn't too bad. Jon can throw him up and catch him I think I would have an actual heart attack.  He's got a proper baby-resting hip though, haha, like a mommy. It was quite good, yeah. really surreal though, because... it just is. he's so cute though omg. If they were all like him then it wouldn't be so bad, he hardly makes a sound.

Thursday was amaaaaazing, everyone dressed up as native Americans and brought be burger king and stuff, like totes bizarre and not really getting it but the effort :) Renne made a chocolate peanut butter pie and I think I almost ate the whole thing by myself, it was so good, but it wasn't pecan pie which I think is what she was going for. And there was no turkey but apparently you just had to pretend the crispy chicken strips was turkey and Oh I love them so much, it was brilliant.

My sister wants to come down and see me next weekend, she's home just now. I dunno how i feel about that. Like I love Milly, so much, like you wouldn't believe but she is so different to everyone else I know here and you know, if I go out with her and I see guys looking at her i never know if its because she just looks pretty or if they recognize her and I get really pissy and I can't afford to be pissy because it's not like I'm the best fighter and plus it's hardly their fault if they do recognize her because like everyone watches that stuff, right? or at least lots of people do... Argh :-/ I'm not like ashamed of my sister in any way, but she's my SISTER and then that's all we have in common and I just dunno what I would even do with her? She likes Crunk D:

So like apart from that horror I reckon my week is gonna be pretty quiet. I should do xmas shopping maybe. Ugh, does anyone want anything? Like can you just tell me if you do because srsly picking out things is HARD.

Have a good week xx

Nov. 22nd, 2010

Huh?

oi, iz tha' wizard bloke, innit? OMG PISS OFF.

Omggg what a week, and it's only Monday- doomed doomed doomed. But! It's all ok really because lookie at this (Ppft shut up like you wouldn't have hot pink bedsheets given the option, also; how cute is my piggy bank? totes totes cute.)



THAT is all the money I saved not buying candy or junk food in the last two weeks. It's like £45 and 10 whole pence, how bad is that? How does someone even eat that amount of candy? That's like 300 freddo bars or 102 bags of of chips or 45 and a half cheeseburgers. HA, omg. So guess whose all skinny again! (Clue; me.) Ugh, awesome, I knew 10 hours at the gym a week would have to do something, I really wanna wii fit but Jay has all but banned them, LAME. Like he couldn't get me a freebee. Booo. So apart from like not eating anything fun (Seriously I don't care how much you lie to yourself, we all know salad is a side and not an actual lunch.) and bench presses and SWEAT PANTS my last week has been one long continuous bore, you wanna know why?

Harry Freaking Potter.

No one NO ONE in the world hates those films like I do, since that stupid series got fangirls its been Hell but the last few years the month after one of those stupid films comes out all I ever hear is OMFG MALFOY. No, NOT Malfoy. Tim. I don't even freaking look like him I'm just blond! Oh my Godddddd stop it, stupid wizard films, and like people will ask me when I'm going back to Hogwarts and laugh so so hard, like it's the most original freaking thing anyone has ever said, and I just have to smile and laugh along, and it's even worse if someone actually thinks I'm Tom Felton (Which, btw, is getting ridic; I'm 6'2", and almost THIRTY, fuck OFF.) then I either just have to sign their stuff and hope for the best or be like the biggest disappointment EVER. This would be so much easier if my ACTUAL GENUINE FACE wasn't EVERYWHERE just now cause of my (lol, my) Dior campaign? Look;



Now I don't expect to be stopped and get 'Omg you're that guy from bus shelters' etc because firstly that would be so freaking DEPRESSING and secondly the only time I've ever learned a models face from an ad was when Travis Fimmel was doing Crave for CK because UNF he is so unbelievably rammable and he has like this 30 foot poster up in NY and I was gonna try the segment that was just his nipple, or his belly button and just like decorate an entire wall with it- ANYWAY! Like that doesn't bother me BUT BUT BUT what if people think that's Tom Felton? Like I don't look ANYTHING like Tom Felton this is so much bullshit. I hate those freaking films.

MY NAME IS TIM. And I swear Jonny- you call me Malfoy one more time this week you are getting a dead arm, I'm a lot tougher than I look and I've not had carbs in five days- do NOT piss me off sweetie.

What else needs to gtfo, oh, yeah, HEAT. Like 1) SHUT UP you don't even know 2) I DIDN'T EVEN GET DUMPED- I think there has to be a relationship to begin with, DUH 3) Shut up all over again. God, get a grip. Why does it even matter? Obviously our A lister's need to pick up the slack if they're wasting their time on me cause for serious I play MONOPOLY and cook stir fry and read Miffy books, its like the most unscandolous existence ever- except yeah I did drop some pills on friday and got really messy but that was in the HOUSE. Well it was until we had to go to tesco to buy raspberries or some other thing, idek what he's about sometimes, but we didn't cause too much distress, Like I didn't even do anything it's all him. Anyway Angel delight totally comes out of fabric, I should know.

Annnnd yeah I think I'm done for the year on the old Job front, does anyone fancy hiring me to look pretty somewhere? Like I can look pretty and I can also play recorder really seriously shockingly well, and um there's a thing I can do with a cherry stem but that depends what sort of thing you want me for. My winter collection spread is out soon in Vogue or ID, idk I wasn't listening, so you know... buy some clothes I wear or something, let them know I sent you :P I'm gonna have to go out loads come December in basically nothing so I get some Spring collection (Come onnnnn Perfume ad, please please please) which is bogus but to Hell with it I've never had a break in a season and I'm not starting it now. I'm already dreading June omg. 

I think I'm gonna have to go up to Brum soon. Tbh I'd rather shoot myself in the face but Christmas. Weves. I'm missing out on Thanksgiving (I'll be having a Niçoise salad. On thanksgiving. Fml) so now I really don't care about festivities. If I had any clue about Jew things I'd do something for Jo for Hanukkah. What do you do for Hanukkah? Should I get him one of those little hats because... Like just take a minute to think about it then you'll see why I really should.

That's all that's gone on for me, borrring but a few more weeks in and I'll be properly over trying to shape up and then I'm going out and getting so drunk I can't even tell you, and I' gonna like order 50 burgers and you can all just sit there in horror and see just how much I can put away and it's going to be FABULOUS.

Nov. 4th, 2010

I like you

Like y'know, whatever.

I am BORED of my icons. I want more but it seems so stupid to pay for something I never use. Can you still just buy more icon space? I should do that.

Right so all day all I've done is clean, everyone is out of the house, Jo is in Scotland, the DC are like where ever, I think they said Derby? Something like Derby anyway, for some sort of firework THING and I got really idek, house wifey and like cleaned everything. Renne had a cup of mold in her room- I don't even want to go into it; I almost lost my Alpen bar. I think I might just throw it out instead of putting it in the Dishwasher (HAVE YOU SEEN how big Dishwashers are in pubs? Like I could crawl in this. I won't; I've seen Final Destination I'm not an idiot.) cause I don't want it totes infecting everything. Girls can be so disgusting, everyone thinks they're little angels but the MESS those two create makes you dizzy.

I'm so bored now though, like honestly the most interesting thing I've done all day is this;





Don't even lie, you know that took some fierce skill.

Even Hollyoaks bored me today, like it's so obvious they're bringing back Warren, alright, lets just get over it already, but like didn't they already DO that, I'm sure they did, and Ste is getting punched up and NOT ALLOWED and like the trans plot line is fucking appalling. Like I dunno I can kind of see where they're coming from but I think they've got to start treading REALLY CAREFULLY making the bully a closet lesbian because you do NOT want to accuse the LGBT for in-the-ranks bullying because while we know it to be true Straight people aren't allowed a say :P

Ok, I know I post Me pics all the time but this is getting a bit of a seriously upsetting issue. I'm like 29, yeah, so OBVIOUSLY I'm not going to have the same body as I had when I was 19, but honest opinion have I suddenly got like a whale because :-/ I feel like one.

snip snip Collapse )

Oct. 27th, 2010

My hat and I don't care for your opinion

(Private)

 Like maybe I'm not pretty anymore. Or maybe he's just STUPID. 

I shouldn't even bother to come on here it just gets me pissed. 

Pingu's like... really hot. AND he doesn't seem to know it which makes him like 10 times hotter. I can't HELP knowing I'm hot I earn thousands and thousands of pounds from being hot, it's not fair. It's not fair. I bet he isn't even that clever, I'm really really clever and no one cares. I'm a DOCTOR and I'm pretty and I make him laugh and AND I know what jackets suit him best and I'd never ever not ever waste time on stupid games instead of talking to him. 

Oh God Pingu's really lovely I'm such a bad person they'd be so so much better off than if he was with me because I think I'm cleverer and hotter than everyone apparently and that makes me UGLY. 

I hate being jealous. I hate it. 

I used to be such a nice boy D: 

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